Written by:
Samantha Tidball

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God on the Edge of the Throne

I have a hard time with prayer. I don’t have a set prayer time; I constantly lose my focus when I pray; and, to be honest, I tend to drop to my knees mostly when I just need God’s help. Nearly every time I go to God, I am in need of something. I feel so guilty. The guilt comes from believing the lie that God is disappointed in me because I only go to him in times of need.

I have been a youth minister for enough years to have the joy of watching many of my students enter adulthood. Most of them are now very busy starting their adult lives while I am focused on raising my own family. Every now and then, a former student who I haven’t heard from in ages will contact me. Most of the time they need Spiritual direction, a job reference, or just need some help and prayer! They often express how bad they feel because they know we haven’t spoken to each other in a long time.

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It’s the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard it was the Lord, he wrapped his coat around himself (for he was naked) and jumped into the water. - John 21:7

Strangely, I find myself annoyed with their guilt. I am never mad when they contact me. On the contrary, I am over-the-moon excited! True, it can be awkward when I am on the other end of the phone jumping up and down because I am so happy they called, even when they are sharing a hardship with me. But I am always incredibly honored that they still want to share their lives with me.

This is how God feels when we pray. It’s time to stop feeling guilty for not praying and to just start talking to God! God is so thrilled when we call on Him. The Creator of the Universe invites us to converse with Him at any time. I love the story in John 21 when Peter launches himself off the boat into the water and swims with all his might toward Jesus. Peter had plenty of reason to distance himself from God after denying Jesus three times! But Peter didn’t let that stop him because he had personally seen the forgiving love of Christ. He knew and fully believed Jesus loved him, even though he had sinned against him. I want to be more like Peter and run toward Jesus without hesitation.

I am tired of listening to the lie that I don’t deserve to talk to God or ask for anything in prayer because I don’t pray enough.

I am tired of listening to the lie that I don’t deserve to talk to God or ask for anything in prayer because I don’t pray enough. I am tired of the lie that I can’t talk to God because I haven’t been living the way God wants me to lately. Enough! The truth is, Jesus always welcomes us with open arms and is delighted to hear from us. The truth is, we are forgiven, we are God’s Holy child. God is on the edge of the throne leaning forward just enthusiastically waiting for us to share what’s on our hearts.

Reflection Questions:

  • What keeps you from conversing with God?
  • What do you believe God thinks of you?
  • How can you be more intentional with your prayer time?
  • What can you do to be more like Peter?