Written by:
Alick Mvula

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Let’s Talk About It

“It just was not meant to be.” “Things did not work out and, well, I don’t want to talk about it.” “I know God is in control of everything, so there is no reason to dwell on it.” These are some common explanations I’ve heard young people give when asked about why their relationship with the opposite sex ended.

A lot of young people don’t want to talk about why their relationship ended or what is happening in their relationships. They do not want to talk about such issues - they sometimes hurt inside and then fail to express their thoughts, emotions, grief to others.

One time I said to my fellow peer, after I was hurt in my previous relationship, “I don’t know what I did wrong, how could she leave me? I thought we could work something out but I cannot understand why she let me go.” His immediate response was “Don’t worry. God is in control. She must not have been meant for you”. Of course I knew that God was in control, but what I needed was a talk, perhaps someone to sit down and discuss what might have gone wrong or sharing what I could do better in the future.

I respect people’s privacy but sometimes keeping feelings deep inside only hurts you. I know people who have carried pain so deep that they want give up on relationships altogether.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” - Galatians 6:2

Galatians tells us that we have a responsibility to carry one others burdens (problems, difficulties, circumstances, pain, sicknesses etc.). In order for that to happen, we need to talk about the things that trouble us.

We should share what we are feeling because doing so might help someone going through the same or similar situation. Whether we like it or not relationships are real, heartbreaks are real, feelings for the other partner are real. We need to ensure that God is involved in all of our relationships because we need help as young people.

As young people we need to cherish all our relationships. We need to invite God into our romantic relationships. And we have to recognize that our romantic relationships will be successful only when we are surrounded by the support of others and the support of God. God has a special love for us – as we enjoy the things that our youth allows, let us also be responsible and fear God.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Have you ever experienced a bad relationship? What made that relationship difficult?
  2. Do you feel shy/uncomfortable/discouraged when trying to talk about relationships? If so why?